Magnetic Messaging: How Leaders Communicate
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Have you ever felt 'gotten' by another, in a good way? You know... being on the receiving end of a thorough 'listening-to'? Feeling acknowledged. Seen and heard?
I'm fortunate to say that I have. But I'll qualify that with saying, very rarely. And, I'd like to think that I create that sense with others. But, again, it would be arrogant of me to suppose it happens in all but a small percentage of the time.
There are a few reasons for that.
1. Most of us have ourselves on our own minds. Even if well-disciplined in active listening, it's easy to be preoccupied. Our own thoughts, intentions, goals and preconceptions are often upper mind.
It takes mastery to clear our minds and listen to another. Give them full and open attention. Especially, without jumping ahead (even if in silence). Mentally waiting for our turn to speak.
Truth told, much of our 'listening' is not listening at all. It's running our own internal dialogue and commentary. This is normal; but it's not the most effective.
It takes practice and attention to develop thorough listening, with full-minded presence.
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2. It's easy to become rather 'enamoured' with our own agenda. In a positive light, we call it passion or enthusiasm. We're engaging. But it's too easy to leave the other person's agenda -- what truly matters to them -- largely unexplored. Quite unaddressed.
The stronger our convictions? The greater our depth of knowledge or wisdom? The more possible it is for theirs to go unheard. We see this in sales, in parenting, in leadership and even amongst friends.
It takes skill to communicate in a way that resonates with another.
3. We may mistake our sales or influence skill with the other's buy-in. We may touch a chord or two. Push a hot button -- causing them to agree. Only to later find out that there's no genuine engagement or commitment.
Interpersonal and communication effectiveness can overshadow real understanding. Until they later realize that what they bought (or bought into) is not what they thought they were getting.
The consequences? Resentment. Waste of time. Anger. Cynicism. Disconnect.
It takes insight and intuition -- or, many times, hindsight -- to know if we're truly 'getting' another.
4. Sometimes, when being listened to, spoken with, or 'led', we're unclear on what matters to us. We may not know what questions we need to ask, or be asked, to ensure we're getting through.
It takes wisdom, patience and experience to ensure we are communicating fully... with focus and clear sense of purpose.
'Magnetic Messaging: how leaders communicate' addresses this opportunity. It also helps avoid these potential pitfalls.
How?
First, we must learn to listen and then 'message' in a person-centred way. Then, we must also get better at helping others communicate with and listen to us.
The infographic below provides a practical guide to get you thinking.
It applies:
- Whether your leadership is formal or informal;
- Selling a product or service or an idea or concept; or,
- Simply looking to provide better service or influence with greater ease and effectiveness.
Magnetic Messaging: how leaders communicate. It's not about 'convincing'. Rather, as the note in the opening banner says, it's about becoming more magnetic. Naturally attracting or repelling those who are, or are not, a good fit.
Achieving genuine 'buy-in'. And, averting the appearance of buy-in, when the fit isn't right.
It's a little bit of mastery -- striving to learn to see things from another's point of view. Listening and questioning in a way that surfaces what matters most.
And then? Sharing, selling or leading, through your communication, such that authentic connection is possible!
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Magnetic Messaging: how leaders communicate.
It has the wonderful 'side-effect' of self-discipline. Making the effort to inquire and get to know another person. Especially, before we tell them what they 'should' or 'should not' do.
Better yet. It's a way to avoid 'should'ng' on others altogether.
It's a fast-paced world. It's easy to believe that what's called for is rapid-fire communication. Quick decisions. Brief interactions.
We believe it because it's often true. But it's not an excuse, or a reason, for superficiality.
Magnetic Messaging: how leaders communicate. In the time it takes to breathe, we can mindfully pause. Get present. Inquire.click to tweet
When we do, we're more able to bring to light that which matters to another. It's often somewhere just beneath the surface.
And so we harness the power to change the course of human encounter... not to mention achieving better results!
Magnetic Messaging - a window into what matters
If you'd like to explore more and discover how to get to the root of 'what matters', check out the Leader Guide e-book: The 3 S's of Success. Or, for a deeper dive and more hands-on experience, explore the online program EMPOWER SUCCESS. Just click on the respective title to learn more.
Until we 'connect' again, 3 questions to think about ...
What is the quality of your communication?
What do you want it to be?
What do you need to do -- more, less, different or better -- to make it so?
