More than You Bargained For? You Got This!
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Have you ever found yourself in a situation that morphed into much more than you bargained for?
You know? Those times when it seems that there's more in front of us than we think we can handle?
Self doubt and uncertainty begin to take their toll... They're the times when we need simple strategy to help:
- Cope with being overwhelmed.
- Restore a sense of certainty.
- Reorient to our desired direction.
- Realign with what matters most.
- Set or reset priority.
I learned a very important lesson in this respect many years ago, on the front lawn of our neighbour's yard.
"It Could Be Worse..."
When I was about 6 years old, I had a major crush on the little boy next door. His name was Eddie. He was blonde. He loved to play tag. That’s all I remember… Except for one very vivid incident.
We’d been outside playing for a while and had stopped for a short rest. Eddie had climbed up to pick an apple from the tree in their front yard. Quickly scampering back to the ground, he hadn’t even waited to rejoin us. He took a huge bite out of his lush, green-red prize. That’s when we heard him S-H-R-I-E-K!
Startled, we looked toward him.
He was screeching, spitting, and kind of jumping around. It was as if he was forcing himself to convulse, so he could expel whatever it was that had suddenly possessed him.
I remember the sudden lurch I felt as my stomach dropped to my knees! There he was… My hero. Flailing about, sputtering and in obvious, extreme distress! I thought he was dying!
With split-second reflexes, my big sister rushed to his side! (She has always been and is still today ultra-quick to offer aid when you need it).
“What happened? What’s wrong?” she exclaimed!
“Look! There! L-o-o-o-o-k!” shuddered Eddie, pointing in horror at the apple that now lay tossed to the ground.
“There’s a WORM!” cried Eddie. Tears were now welling up. His face contorted at the seeming violation the apple had perpetrated on him.
Sure enough, a big juicy worm was squeezing its way out into full view. It meandered innocently into the bite that Eddie had taken.
And, I will never forget my sister’s reaction.
Ever caring, positive and remarkably pragmatic, she quickly assessed the situation. Taking it all in: the apple, the worm, and Eddie’s obvious upset.
With lightning focus and assuredness, ready to relieve his suffering, she announced,
“Well, it could be worse! It could have been half a worm!”
Eddie stopped, as if frozen in time.
He looked at her in jaw-dropping, complete and utter disbelief.
Then, slowly, as the realization of what she had just said penetrated, a wave of relief crossed his face. It progressively washed away the upset.
In the next instant, his distress dissolved into mirth. He started to giggle.
The next thing I remember, we were all rolling around on the grass, crying with laughter…
I've never forgotten...
Click to 
this image.
It’s a powerful metaphor for many life and leadership situations.
3 Lessons and a Take-Away
1. GROWTH & CHANGE.
In business and in life, dealing with how we want to grow and change can be daunting. The need to improve our companies or ourselves may be overwhelming. But, not doing so is worse.
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Facing the magnitude of change, growth or development can be much like finding a worm in our apple.
Too much! Too big! Too time-consuming! Too expensive! Too hard!
But here’s the thing… Shying away from what is good for us or what is required doesn’t change or alter the need. Ignoring it simply puts off the inevitable. 
[click to tweet]
If you've ever procrastinated, you know... When we do finally get to that which we’ve been putting off, it’s no longer a worm in the apple. Instead, there’s no time left. No workaround possible. It’s more like finding half a worm – after you’ve already swallowed!
The lesson? Don’t wait. When you know what you need or want to do: do it.
Bite the apple. Take on the change or growth that beckons you. [click to tweet]
2. MORE THAN YOU BARGAINED FOR.
Sometimes, we get started with gusto. But then, part way through, we begin to feel overwhelmed. It's a milestone in the journey when we realize we’ve bitten off more than we can chew – literally! Now what?
Stop. Knowing when to let go is essential to using your time, energy and resources well. It can be exceedingly difficult, especially if you’re already heavily invested. And, there’s always that question – what if you’d hung in there, just a bit longer?
It’s tricky. How to know when to keep going, and when to stop? One of my favourite resources in this regard is a book by Dr. Henry Cloud: Necessary Endings. It offers practical advice (and process) so we can:
· Know when to quit and when to stay the course. This applies in business or personally: projects, activities, people.
· End things well, when we must.
· Overcome resistance to change and create urgency and action for what’s important.
· Stop wasting resources and invest energy in what really matters.
· Become more proactive.
Too much? Consider your options and what's most important. Have the courage to stop, if that's what's best.
Cut your losses and bail, when it's the right thing to do. Take charge, hold your head high, and do what's needed, to end with grace.
3. NO GOING BACK NOW.
You know those times when you think you can't keep going? Yet, in spite of weariness and although the burden feels great, you’ve got to take one more step. Give it one more try. Do that one more thing.
A great resource in this respect is a very short but excellent book by Seth Godin: the dip. Similar to Dr. Cloud’s book, it also “teaches you when to quit and when to stick.”
Its focus is on recognizing when to quit and when to stay the course. It's also on when to actively seek out what Godin calls ‘the dip’. It's that big barrier that, if you can conquer it, will elevate your success.
It may feel like a 'mouth full of worm', so chew fast!
Found half a worm? Yup. That's worse. Don't panic.
Chew fast and swallow hard. Look on the bright side -- it’s good protein!
4. THE TAKE-AWAY.
The take-away from this metaphor is this: count your blessings. Adopt an attitude of gratitude. It’s not Pollyanna. It’s good brainwork. [click to tweet]
It’s also effective emotional intelligence. Why? Because, it’s all too easy to get caught up in the moment:
– The stress of making the decision to grow or change;
– The shock of encountering unexpected obstacles or setbacks. Events that cause you to feel like you're in over your head;
– The jolt of realizing there’s no going back.
The attitude my sister first demonstrated in this story is the same one advised by Dr. Cloud and Seth Godin. It's what most great thinkers and leaders advocate.
It’s an attitude whereby you move yourself into more rational thinking.
Actually? You begin thinking, period. Which is something we cease to do when we’re in the throes of panic or overwhelm.
You might even start to see the humour.
Make the most of whatever life has handed you.
After all, isn’t that what living and leading well is all about?
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So now... Wherever you're at, pause for a moment.
- Is there a change you need to start? If so, what's your first, next step?
- Is there something you need to let go of? Do that. Free yourself for something that truly matters. Your priority.
Related post: Knee Deep in 'Should'? 3 Easy Ways to Crush Stress and Gain Focus Find what matters to you, and do that!
- Or, are you in the middle of something daunting? You may be running on empty. Remind yourself why you started, and why you need to keep going. If it's right for you, stay the course! Your future self will thank you!
It's often in the throes of overwhelm that we realize our greatest potential. Discover true vision. Focus on real priority.
Navigating overwhelm is much easier when you have a strong vision to pull through. It helps keep your energy and motivation high. I created the online program EMPOWER SUCCESS to help us do just that. You'll emerge lighter, wiser, more inspired and more sure-footed than ever.
Check out this wonderful resource:
Peace of Mind Coach: Steven Webb. A true-to-life example of what this blog post is all about. Steven lives with significant paralysis after a diving accident when he was 18. In spite of this, you'll rarely encounter someone who lives life with more joy. And, focused on helping you do the same! I loved going through his course "How to Take Control of Your Life". It's well worth taking and revisiting often!
Janice Kobelsky
Your Meaningful Vision, Fulfilled
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A version of this post was published on LinkedIn; March, 2016.
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